A Penguin, a Komodo Dragon, and a Horse walk into a bar. The penguin asks the barkeep for a drink.
The bartender doesn’t answer. The Komodo Dragon asks for a drink.
The bartender doesn’t answer. The horse shakes his head and says “Well, I guess the three of us will die of thirst!”
The penguin says “Horses don’t know math.”
He was right.
I cartwheel in place sometimes. It’s a lot harder then it sounds. My team made nationals this year, which surprised everyone that was taking that driving test.
Hand them here.
Now I have the lime and coconut. You could not handle the responsibility.
*throws them at a kid on a skateboard*
I did what had to be done.
The sudden shock of seeing him caused my legs to lock up, launching me skyward at a vicious and sudden rate. Does that answer shock you? Oh, you’re flying through the sky now. God, these stun guns are awful…
If I had a nickel for every time I heard that, I would still be broke. That’s really creepy, and luckily I have enough nickels here to lob at you until you succumb to the violence. That isn’t love, that’s thousands of nickels. I’ve already started. Use it to pay for a wed……shit.
Spreadable. Edible. Good when drunk.
Oh look a question.
I hate it. My father said it best. Seriously, no one said it quite like my old man. He was seven and said “It.” and in that moment, I was in awe….then my father came in, pointing to a wheel a cheese and yelled “It.” He also wondered why I would kidnap the elderly. I smirked venomously, telling him that I have found the old man that could overthrow the tyrannical cheese. After spitting out the king cobra, me and my old companions began beating the cheese lord, simply known as “it” along it’s….wheel….and….top of it’s wheel…My father could just watch helplessly, wondering why I had to always ruin my birthday parties like this.
Way to bring up a sore subject.
No question. Seriously, is this a sentence? Did your cat walk across your keyboard? Did I walk across your keyboard?!
Comes after N.
And don’t you forget it.
I don’t know what a usual is, but I certainly don’t own one, so there is no way for me to accurately surmise that. Are you trying to sell me a usual? Is there a height requirement on my part? I am not interested in what you are selling! Look inside of yourself and realize that you shouldn’t have woken up during surgery!
Well, the bigger question is the one with more words in it, so….
I’m not sure. I had a man at the grocery store ask me that same question. He seemed rather nosey. Can’t I just buy milk fat blocks without getting stupid questions? Obviously not, sir and or madam.
This is the page of Travis! Part time voice actor, part time comedian, part time philosopher, part…
So THIS is the man behind the curtain…Call the Fire Department.